A C Bextor

LIGHTS OF PERIL

HOLDING ON
“You are mine. You’ve been mine since you took those training wheels off that pink bike of yours and fell at my feet. Never even cried, you didn’t. Just sat on my lap trusting that I had you. Well I have you now, baby. You’re grown up, you’re a woman, and you’re mine. Mine.” That’s Shame. My brothers best friend and the Vice President of Lights of Peril MC. Along with my best friend Sadey, we’ve all grown up together. I don’t have a memory that isn’t surrounded by the four of us. Years together as friends and often times in the face of adversity has led Shame, Hem, Mace, and Sadey to share their lives now as adults. 

Sadey and Mace have been best friends since they were five years old. As a child, teenager, and then young woman, Sadey longed for Hem to notice her. As years passed, she vowed to save all of herself for him with the hope that one day he would see her as the woman she was turning herself into, not just the child he remembers. Mace and Hem are siblings that grew up in a small town in the Midwest. Sharing the same mother, Mace’s father refuses to accept Hem as his own, leading him to a life similar to that of his biological father. 

Hem never set out to be President of the Lights of Peril Motorcycle Club, but when he left home at 17 to find the acceptance he was so desperate for, he ended up finding Doc. After Doc's passing Hem was determined to lead Peril into a clean existence. The story is about love, heartache, and tragedy. Sometimes we search our whole lives for something we think we are missing, only to find out what we had with us is what we were looking for all along.

THE WAY HOME
Where do you begin to piece back the fragments of a shattered heart? “I’m letting you go today, it’s time.” Finally, Sadey is ready to say goodbye to the only man she’s ever loved. With the help of Shame and Mace she’s learning to breathe on her own again; one day at a time. Her hopes are high and her world is finally coming into focus. Until someone from her past comes back to help her heal, bringing with him more heartbreak and confusion than she could have ever believed possible. Ace loves her. For six months, he’s watched her suffer from a distance. Knowing it wasn’t his place to see her through this, but no matter the risk he won’t stay away.

“Sadey, I’ve missed you, okay? I’ve thought about you. I missed being here. Do you understand that? I’ve missed being around you, touching you, holding you, and laughing with you. I missed you before I even left town that night. You chose Hem, not that it was any kind of competition, but you were with Hem. I was never even given the consideration.” Emotions are high as further truths of betrayal are exposed, leaving everyone to pick up the pieces once again.

TOXIC -
Told through Shame’s point of view, the final instalment of the Lights of Peril MC takes place on the ‘implied’ wedding day. 

Shame is plagued with doubts surrounding his love for Mace. He loves her. He’s loved her since she was five years old, but feels he doesn’t deserve her. This uncertainty is surfacing while struggling to forget the loss of his tragic childhood. “What if the trigger has already been set and I’m going to wake up one day and realize I’m my parent’s son in their way of evil? The thought sickens me. I’m no good without Mace. I never have been. She’s the one person in my life I would refuse to live without. If I ever treated her and Ryder like my father treated my mother and I, it would make for an easy decision. I would kill myself.”

Shame’s childhood wasn’t filled with happiness and love. It was heart wrenching, and abusive. Used by his father and resented by his mother, a young Neil struggles through his days waiting for an escape; a savior. “As he seethes his anger onto me I feel the spit from his words land on my face and in it I smell his whiskey and coke coming down like rain over my blissful day. I’m working for them now. I’m nine and I’ve just been interviewed and hired for my very first job… running drugs.” Once meeting Doc, Lynda, Mace, Hem, and Sadey - his life changes from desolate to hopeful. 

“At just five years old, she found her way into my heart and loved me in a way I never thought I could be loved. All that was before I ever even knew I needed her. “ Throughout the story you learn why Shame has become the person that he is. Intense, raw, powerful, and most of all – protective of those he loves the most. In the end he finds himself surrounded by everything he had ever hoped for. “The storms I waited out were violent and unstable, but once finding them I found the unconditional love that I’d ached for in my search for them. It’s in this moment, among the sounds of monitors and babies crying and the feel of Mace in my arms, holding me tight, just as she always had, that I realize - I am finally well and truly home.

DEVIL'S DESPAIR

ACE'S REDEMPTION

Cherry 
Memories alone can ruin you. Fear has a paralyzing effect, and love isn’t always enough to keep you safe. Ace was the gateway to a freedom I hadn’t known since I was fifteen. He offered his protection from the demons that haunted me; both living and dead. Although I knew I wasn’t enough to keep him, this didn’t deter my hope that one day he’d love me for who I was, not the broken girl he tried so desperately to save. In the end, the ghosts of my past found me. Their malevolence knew no bounds, and I was forced to succumb to their will of darkness. Each threat named against those I loved made any escape impossible; choosing my life for theirs became my desolate absolution. Inevitably, it was my own weakness and self-doubt that became my undoing. 

Ace 
Emotional ties are sometimes severed. Friendships don’t always endure their hardships, and love offered isn’t always returned. I was in love once. For me, leaving her back in Ohio was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. For her, moving on with her life that included her son and the man she loved was no less than she deserved -- unconditional happiness. My reasons to bring Cherry home to California were obvious. I needed help with my family, and she needed help staying clean and convincing her parents she was ready to give her son the life he deserved. It was a perfect plan. However, the best laid plans often get lost amidst their best intentions. Cherry fell in love with me, and in return my love for her acted as the catalyst to her destruction.